Ghosted? Or Just Busy? How to Follow Up After No Response

We’ve all been there.

You send a thoughtful message after researching the prospect. Maybe you’re pitching an event organizer, following up on a TEDx application, or reaching out to reconnect with someone who could open a door. You hit send… and then?

Silence. No response. Not even a “seen.”

Were you ghosted? Ignored? Or just… forgotten?

Most People Aren’t Rude—They’re Just Overloaded

It’s easy to take silence personally. But in most cases, it has nothing to do with you.

Sometimes, people genuinely forget. They read your message, intend to reply later, and then mentally check the box without ever typing a word. I’ve been on both sides of that equation: sending a message and hearing nothing, and meaning to reply and forgetting entirely.

One helpful habit? Mark messages unread if you can’t respond right away. It’s not a perfect system, but it creates a visual nudge to return.

Life moves fast. Attention is fragmented. Your message might be in a sea of other noise and breaking through can be challenging sometimes.

Following Up Isn’t Pushy: Unless You Are

A lot of people give up after one message. In sales alone:

• 48% of reps never follow up at all

• 44% give up after just one follow-up

• Yet 80% of successful deals require 5 or more touches

That’s not just sales, it’s about human nature. People often need a reminder, and reminders (when done well) can build trust rather than destroy it.

But tone and timing matter. Following up every 20 minutes? That’s pressure. Following up thoughtfully after a week or two? That’s professionalism. You have to understand who is involved, how they think, and what success looks like for them.

In Canada or the US, weekly or bi-weekly follow-ups are typically within the realm of appropriate. But culture matters. What’s normal in one country might feel aggressive or too casual in another. I once had someone (that I didn’t really know) text me on a Saturday to ensure that I had seen their email.

I had a busy week, and planned to respond to their email on Monday. To them, follow-up was critical: a cultural norm from where they’d worked previously. I took a moment to share that texting on a Saturday felt very familiar, even intrusive. They were genuinely appreciative of the cultural lesson.

Know your audience and follow up, but do it with care.

A Note for Speakers Specifically

If you’re a speaker pitching event organizers or corporate clients, I want to offer you something most follow-up advice misses: the view from the other side of the table.

I’ve organized over 75 events,  including the first TEDx Moncton. I know what an organizer’s inbox looks like, and I can tell you: the speakers who follow up rarely lose points for it. What loses points is following up without adding anything — a bare “just checking in” that creates work without value. Or worse, follow-ups that take you from being chosen to “mark as spam”, never to be heard from again.

The best follow-ups I received as an organizer did one of the following things:

1. Made it easy to say yes: anticipated my  questions before I asked and added genuine value in some way
2. Showed they understood (or wanted to better understand) my audience: not just that they wanted the stage

If your follow-up email could have been sent by anyone pitching anyone, rewrite it. The more specific it is to that organizer’s that event, the more it signals you’re worth the reply. Further, it can be a bit of a tightrope: you don’t want to come across as pushy, but you do want to ensure that you are working yourself into a better and better place in the mind of an organizer with every point of contact.

Try a Different Door

Sometimes the issue isn’t you—it’s the channel. I saw this from Shiv Gupta (Founder at U of Digital)